More than a neighbor

Sometimes people you see on a daily basis remain acquaintences and sometimes they become part of your family.

I received some very upsetting news this Saturday about a family friend who suffered a severe neck injury. This is a man that lived across the street from me since I was in 6th grade. He was that awesomely nosey neighbor, and I say awesome because I loved that he asked questions and was genuinely interested in my answers. Likewise, you could ask him anything and he would gladly share any about himself with you. To this day, I still like people who are nosey for the sake of carrying on genuine conversations.

Ed,

I will miss our conversations. You were not my neighbor for 10 years or a family "friend" for 30 years. You were part of my family. You were always helpful without judgement. And on your last day you were still so generous by making an election to let go of life so your organs would still be healthy enough to donate. I do not like your decision because it breaks my heart and I am being selfish. I can tell you that because I know you won't judge me. I'm lucky to have known you.

All my love,

Ames





  

Strange book review

Not that the review will be strange...I should clarify, its a review of a strange book. Im not a professional book reviewer, but I read a lot or listen to several audio books and I always like to hear "real" reviews. Not like the reviews from people who are given things. I hate seeing those long reviews on Amazon and then they say, I was given this for my honest review. I always think, part of an honest review is the fact you paid for something and you are determining if it was worth your hard earned money. Anway, Im rambling.

So the book is called Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough and the only way I can explain it without ruining the twists is you better be super open minded. The main characters are interesting and if you like stories with far fetched endings you will enjoy this book.

I was reading other peoples feedback which included "load of crap" "hated the ending" and "huh?".  I personally thought it was a good twist on lucid dreaming and psychological illnesses. This is fiction and I was in the mood for an odd story at the time. You know how a movie or a book can be good or bad based on your mood? So if you are in the mood for something psycho-thriller I bet you will think the book was worth the read and the price. I dont want to give too much away and I would recommend you dont read the reviews and just start the book with an open mind. If you are weird like me, you will find the story intriguing.

Sweaty Pants

I think there should be a fitness clothes reviewer for women. I don't mean those paid bloggers or youtubers. I mean someone who will rate workout attire by a different kind of scale. For example, for tank tops the scale would include likelihood of showing your boobs, nipping, or falling out. For pants, a transparency rating, how much will the pants make you look like you peed when you sweat, and camel toe scoring.

I bought these cute Nike training pants at Ross. And maybe they arent real Nikes, or maybe they are. Thats half the fun at shopping at discount places. As well as, maybe they will last a day or maybe they will last a year. These new pants had a seam in the crotch that was so hideous (camel toe score was a 9 out of 10) and as I was sweating, the pants turned into those hypercolor clothes back in the day. Tell me you remember those! And the color change was only around the crotch and hiney area of course.

Yeah, the pants are cute but only if you are NOT working out. I will never wear those pants again. Normally I would wash the pants, fold them, and put them back in a drawer for a day I might wear them when Im not sweating. But you and I both know, I wont wear them. So I decided to start wearing one thing every day from the back of the closet or drawer and if by the end of the day I hate it, Im putting it in the donate bag. Each Saturday, I will get rid of the donate bag so it doesnt sit there for a full year.

So here is what I realized. Discount stores have some good finds for sure. But Im not buying workout pants. I also have too many clothes...that I dont wear! Based on the last week of wearing something from the depths of the closet, I have purged 6 items this week and I will officially be out of clothes within 1 month. So just to make this process even more systematic and complicated, I am going to buy one nice piece of clothing a month. In my mind, I envision a small, functional, and high quality wardrobe in the end. But you know how good plans go. I might be forced to join a nudist colony shortly. We shall see. :)

143

How did it happen?

Why didnt anyone tell me that turning 41 would change so many things?! Oh, I guess people do talk about it I just thought I would be the exception.

Let me start by saying, Im tired. And its 8:43am. And I slept for a full 8 hours. My knees dont hurt after I go for a jog but Im aware of their existence the rest of the day. Everyone on social media, facebook, instagram, youtube, etc looks so young and its odd to see those people giving life advice. I want to scream, the answer is move more, eat better and/or less, drink water, and a shit ton of sunscreen. No more fads, please!

I know 41 is not old, but my mindset is shifting and my body is reacting different to my normal lifestyle. And its like Im awkward again, trying to figure out an ever changing life. Ok, maybe I never got out of an awkward stage but now I have to learn a new way.

What brings me joy is pretty much the same; dogs, fitness, and stillness. Not the kind of stillness that is absent of movement, but the kind of stillness that comes with internal peace. I have been the type of person who has found a great deal of satisfaction with being a high "acheiver". Which meant I always had a great deal of stamina, worked hard, and was always being productive in one way or another at every single moment of the day.

As I turned 41, I noticed a subtle but swift shift. I have the desire to be efficiently productive and acheive great results, but I want to be still..have more time that Im not planning or problem solving. I was reading a great post I found which mirrored what it was like to be a high acheiver and then attempting to find stillness. Its work!

Here is the post if you are interested: https:The Practice of Stillness

Im going to try implementing some of the things mentioned in the post above and we shall see if this old dog can learn new tricks :)

Oh, and speaking of dogs, Amigo just turned 9 years old on 5/5/2017! You havent met Mosby since I havent actually written anything in forever. But the white tornado below is Mosby. And he melts my heart <3.